By Kellie Rixon MBE FIH: Views from a hospitality girl… I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS
Hello hospitality ‘friends’ from a very rainy Aberdeenshire. It’s Saturday morning and we’re preparing for a lovely wedding with, I’d say, one of the nicest couples you could ever meet. It’s their special day and it looks like the weather gods are simply not playing fair. What hospitality has taught me (and about 100 episodes of Don’t tell the bride) is that although it isn’t always the day you pictured ideally it will still be truly perfect for you. I was thinking about why that is often the case and honestly the answer is simple, ultimately it’s just about the people you love. They make it magical. Family and friends. It got me thinking about how important friends are in a person’s life and how hospitality is always part of that ‘friends’ story.
So that’s where I am today. Thinking about how people pull together for the people they love and how friends have such an impact on all aspects of your life. Having a big family is a blessing (some would say it’s also a curse) but I’ve been lucky to have people around me my whole life. My cheerleaders and supporters. They have pushed me when I needed it and picked me up when I really needed it.
Friends are different. Some of my truest friends were made in difficult times and conversely some of my closest friends were lost when I needed them the most. Strange how life works out and some friendships endure while others are lost (I’m not crying you are). I read somewhere that some friends join you for just part of your journey and others for the whole trip. I like to think about friends and jobs the same way. Some jobs feel like a temporary fix while others are for life…in my case, hospitality.
Now in business I have made many friends. Hospitality is like that. It throws an incredibly diverse group of folks together in challenging circumstance and somehow, they form a bond.
There’s been countless studies about the impact of having a friend at work with statistics such as 57% of people say it enhanced their job, and 22% said it increased efficiency and productivity. Now I’m not sure about that but what I say is that in these difficult times the importance of friends is felt now, more than ever.
A couple of weeks ago I attended two events. Firstly, The cHerRies in Aberdeen with my lovely new friend Carole (thank you, lovely). Carole is one of those gems in life who says it out loud….”hi Kellie…I like you”. It’s easy to say it back because its true “I like you too Carole”. People like this are just a blessing. They make life so much better and always seem to find space for you. See, new friends are great too.
Anyway, back to the events…The cHerRies are where HR professionals and people practices across the region are recognised and celebrated. It was a great night. One of the biggest winners of the night was a small charity called Men in Mind. Founded by a fantastic human called Andy after a friend of his committed suicide.
The idea that someone is so desperate and don’t feel they had a space or a friend to talk to is heartbreaking so when the unthinkable happened Andy and his pals got together to create groups where men can meet and talk openly about their experiences, mental health and well, anything they want. It’s literally a lifesaving group and I felt truly inspired.
Mental health in hospitality is challenging. I’ve lost many people over the years to their own personal demons and most of them were hospitality people. It shows the importance of reaching out, connecting and providing a safe space for your friends at work as well as at home.
People get lonely too, especially working away from home, unsociable hours and in difficult environments. It’s difficult to reach out and make new friends but I have to say it’s in this area Aberdeen is such a wonderful place to be.
I’m making such wonderful friends here who show up, get me out of the hotel (that’s you again Carole) or my lovely new pal Alan (thank you Mr Massie) both of whom have become steadfast pals. There’s also your work mates who quickly become your ride or die (in my case) gals…. My team consists of a predominately female gang.
My amazing DGM Bev, my Head of people, Faye, my Exec HK Brenda and my Head of sales Rebecca. They’ve become my work pals.
These are the people I feel supported by and the people who have my back. It’s made the last six months so much more manageable and well…fun. So, my advice today is find some more friends, I know that’s easier said than done but. honestly it’s worth the bravery and the effort. You’re worth it and they most definitely will be.
My second event I attended a few weeks ago in London where I attended The aha Forum created by the fantastic Accessible Hospitality Alliance, where I sit on the advisory board.
It was a great and insightful event with the intention of raising awareness of and building knowledge and education around important topics such as accessibility, inclusivity and diversity.
Now while I was there to share some of my lived experiences, I found myself surrounded by inspiring people who told stories about how their friends literally saved their lives and support them every day. It showed how we really do need to open our minds and our hearts to be more accessible and inclusive in hospitality. In a world full of segregation and turmoil it’s good to think of others (sorry, starting to sound a little Miss World now).
My son was left permanently disabled 13 years ago following a car accident. Before that moment we had no idea what the disabled world was about. Why would we, it didn’t affect us? Until it did.
Quickly we were thrust into a world of unknown fear and discrimination, and it made me angry (for a very long time). Anger doesn’t really help anyone but when that anger turns into action for change something positive comes out of something bad.
My friends helped me in this situation. Sometimes it’s too difficult for family to cope with and sometimes you need to talk about things. I must say a line here about therapy. If you can get access to it my advice is everyone should try therapy. It’s like paying a friend to listen to your moaning’s without having to burden yourself with any of theirs???? I’m sure that’s not what therapy is meant to be about, but honestly whatever it is I have found it immensely helpful over the years.
My friends have helped me navigate the world and grow. My workmates have built my skills and knowledge. I see how lucky I am to be surrounded by such amazing people but then again I always have been. I’m lucky enough to have been born with a ready-made best friend. My big sister Tracie. No one loves me as much as she does (not even my husband I think). When I think about my limitations it’s Tracie who shouts rubbish and pushes me further than I ever thought I was capable. The power of true belief. The power of people. The power of friends.
So, in closing if you’re out there struggling….please don’t. I’ll be your friend. Reach out to others, ask for help. Us hospitality people are just friends you haven’t met yet and that my friends is the biggest reason I love my job so much.
‘til next time
